Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
