Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize