i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
