And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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