Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
