Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I could fuck to npr.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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