Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
