two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
