the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
