naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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