come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Boobs are out for the taking
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
