gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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