You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
