When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
