i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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