my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize