i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize