Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
