So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize