i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
