I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
