I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm always down for nudity.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
