He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
