miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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