Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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