You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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