If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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