so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
