do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
