3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
