I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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