I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
