Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That's when you crack a 10am beer
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
