Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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