So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
