I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
