I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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