She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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