if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
