Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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