I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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