try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As shirtless as possible
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
