fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
