I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
