they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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