Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
