There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
