Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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