It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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