It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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