so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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