i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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