Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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