So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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