Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
