that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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