I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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