Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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