Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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