1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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