i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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